Worst online dating ads

Yes, as the 1999 TLC song goes, "if you live at home wit' your momma," ladies aren't having any of that. This is reader Pamela Williams' biggest turnoff: "I don't own a car so you'd have to pick me up or live on the bus line." Um, OK, we're hoping all you online daters out there know better than to get in a car with a complete stranger, but we also know we'd prefer a grownup with his or her own car for dates down the road. Yes, yes, folks, using a picture from 15 years ago where you had a lot less around the middle and a lot more up top isn't the smartest idea.

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The Internet, in its boundless generosity, has given people (specifically those who might be considered "not traditionally beautiful") the slimmest ray of hope at having marginally normal sex lives.

The Internet is ripe for deception: misleading usernames ("buffjuggernaut25"), misleading incomes ("$100,000+, if you count my life insurance premium), and shockingly flattering photos taken from angles that no human will even be seen from in a naturally occurring situation.

An e-relationship could last for two months on carefully researched e-mails, filled with opinions copied and pasted from hip trade publications and the latest Yahoo news headlines.

It's the perfect opportunity to fake your own success and convince a person to send you a few dirty e-mails and suggestive instant messages before the cover gets blown and they met you -- and you were animated and ruined it.

Profile headline: "Hi, I'm a PC."Major mistakes: Mentioning how you are specifically looking for a girl with red hair because "I used to date a girl with red hair who is really special to me." Also, having "perfectprofile" as your My Space page kinda sets him up for failure.

Conclusion: No girl wants a guy who's going to make them wear a mask of his ex-girlfriend's face while they have sex, especially when you know it will end with a tearful orgasm and mumbled whispers of regret. Profile headline: "Just escaped from institution, looking to settle down."Major mistakes: Showing up on set Conclusion: No one's saying that some people don't deserve love.

But for some people you just get the feeling that given the opportunity they might squeeze love a little too tight and kill it. nice hair"), sometimes it's better to play to your strengths.

Although it's admirable to be so forthcoming about yourself ("What's important to me is my health"), and what you're looking for ("The thing I love about women are they got a nice attractive legs, nice body, and . Unfortunately Danny's strength is doing a rather serviceable impression of a man with a traumatic head injury.

When it comes to dating, it can be a jungle out there.

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