If you follow me on Twitter, you know I’ve been dealing with the “joys” of online dating lately. And then you get whiplash because you were SO not expecting that? Or someone just said something really stupid and made you think twice about them. You can expect all you want, but when reality sets in it can be a tricky situation. Or he says something that makes you want to run away like, “How big is your chest?
Being a full time online student does not leave me many options for meeting men, so I have taken the advice of some friends and started the online thing. Any and all attention from anyone had me smiling, because I was SOMEONE. And I’ve met guys who became more attractive as I got to know them better. ” or “It’s your job to keep my thoughts and actions pure because I can’t control myself.” Yeah. I only wish DNFing a date were as easy as closing it and throwing it across the room. Ever received a review request that goes completely against your review policy?
The more I thought about it, the more I realized how similar online dating and book blogging are… :) This NEW thing is just so new and exciting and I am so excited to be noticed! The first review request had me singing about how awesome I was. Any and all attention from people other than my family rocked my socks off, because I was SOMEONE. I am LOVING all these emails, and I must respond ALWAYS. Covers, much like pictures, can be super deceiving. Like, you say in your policy that you hate paranormal romance, and then up pops a review request for one?
I did not want to hurt an author or a publisher, so I never wanted to decline anyone. But I hate hurting people, so in the beginning I would respond and try to be nice to everyone. And then you receive an email with no this, no this, and no this?
And then just run away and hide, hoping they did not write back. It’s like, “Did they even care enough to read about me first? I don’t drink, don’t smoke or do drugs, and don’t want to sleep with anyone until I’m married to him.
You know how you sometimes go into a book expecting a certain quality? Like, the guy wants to hold your hand when you’re SO not even into him like you were hoping you would be and you can’t fathom why he thinks you ARE into him.
” I can’t tell you how many times a man has written to me and asked me questions I had already answered in my online profile. And so this dude writes to me, asking if I’d like a no-strings-attached hot night involving a bar and a bed. They ask you to make an exception because they are awesome. Eventually, you just HAVE to get more selective and start thinking of yourself because you can’t please everyone. In both blogging and online dating, I have learned to ignore the people who clearly do not care, I have learned to decline if I am not interested, and I have learned to stand up for myself. This kind of goes along with the last one, but deserves its own point.
I will not let anyone tell me my dreams are too big or my expectations are too high. And someday my blog might get my foot in some doors I might not have gotten into otherwise.
I’m good enough, and I don’t need a man to complete me. Book blogging has been one of the best decisions of my entire life.
I’d love my own love story, but not at the price of my self respect. Blogging has already taken me in a different direction, and changed my life. At this point in my life, I do not have a ton of options for meeting men.
Regardless of how hard and frustrating online dating can be, I’m still holding out for my Prince Charming. Maybe someday I’ll be able to say that jumping into online dating was THE best decision of my entire life.
Even worse than receiving a review request that goes against your policy, is receiving a review request that says, “Please make an exception for my book, because it’s something I just know you will love.” I remember one day getting an email from a guy who actually said, “If you would just hook up with me tonight, I know you’d never regret it.” Or there’s the charming, “You’re probably just scared of it because you’ve never met a guy who knew what he was doing. As a blogger becomes more and more seasoned, they begin to figure out how to make things better for themselves.
I no longer accept everything, and I no longer request everything.
I have written out schedules, I have learned to be more creative in my post ideas, I have learned to schedule ahead of time.