When online dating works, it can be a great way to connect with lots of people you wouldn't have otherwise met.
But when it doesn't, the experience can send you down the everyone-is-awful-so-I'm-probably-dying-alone spiral.
So what exactly is driving these daters to delete their profiles? I would type, delete, type again, delete, etc., like I didn't know who I was in real life. "Everything feels forced." "You just don't get that spark that you do when you know you like someone and it's instant and wonderful. It's like you try to put a face to the person you're talking to, but it just feels like this contrived entity.
We asked the members of our Facebook community why they left online dating to find love IRL. "Over time, I began to feel like I was losing my true self in the quest to be the girl with the perfect profile." "I was constantly overthinking what I had typed in my profile or what I was sending in a message to a guy. Over time, I began to feel like I was losing my true self in the quest to be the girl with the perfect profile, and I decided it wasn't worth the stress and sacrifice of losing and/or hiding who I am." 2. You really have no idea who they are and what they're about or if you have any chemistry.
When I would see something in a guy's profile that he liked in a woman, I would think ‘Hey! "There was no spontaneity or fun or butterflies." "I was sick of constant disappointment or men that wanted to text forever. You're just asking these basic questions wondering when it's cool to really be yourself.
But that's the thing -- you can't really be yourself online." 4.
My stalker situation wasn't as extreme as some, but it irked me enough to get a lawyer which I'm glad I did." 7.
"Some immediately began asking about my sexual turn-ons." "I just got tired of all the annoying messages I was receiving.
Some immediately began asking about my sexual turn-ons, fantasies and other weird comments/questions.
It got to the point where any message at all would just annoy me." 8.
"It required a lot more time and energy than I expected." "Online dating gave me exactly what I wanted: practice going on dates with strangers and trusting my instincts about the men I met.
What I did not like was that it felt extremely contrived, as if I was online shopping.
There was nothing romantic or spontaneous about it, and it required a lot more time and energy than I expected.