I wipe my slick palms against the thigh of my jeans, gnawing nervously on my thumb’s shredded hang nail. What’s it like to date again after you are widowed? And, to be frank, I had zero interest in ever being in it again. I fumbled, made some mistakes, and, yes, had some fun too. So for all of you aching to know and just too , scared to ask, I will now attempt to answer all those taboo questions with as much honesty as I can muster. Like many widows out there, I was out of the dating game for a long, long time. I bypassed the entire “dating” phase of life and essentially went straight from high school to married so learning to cope with members of the opposite sex in a dating situation was beyond my comprehension at first.
I am waiting for the proverbial poop to hit the fan. They can simply spy through the blinds across the street or stalk her house at all hours of the night pretending they were “just stopping by to say hi”.
I sit back down, slide my laptop over, hit refresh. In a world of social media and worldwide gossip, neighbours no longer need to walk three miles to gossip about the love life of the local widow.
I changed my relationship status on Facebook to “Engaged”.
In the end, it took some time and some sexy new bras to get me enjoying it instead of dreading it. This is probably the question every widow will hear some variation of at some point or another.
Either that or “don’t you think it’s about time you started to date?
” The point here is that everyone out there, especially those who don’t know what they are talking about, has an opinion on this.Ultimately, every widow is different and the only person whose opinion matters is her own.Some widows are comfortable dating as early as a month or two out, others wait years, and some never date again at all.This is a personal choice that each widow must make for herself. I was very up front with them and told them how I felt and what was going on.I did sweat a little over starting to date after only a couple months. Of course I waited several months to make sure it was more of a serious relationship before I opened up to them.Not because I didn’t feel ready, but because I was sick with worry over what others might think. A very wise widow once told me, “I fulfilled every marriage vow right until death do us part – can others say the same? I also brought up the general topic of potentially dating and shared with them how I felt several times leading up to the big announcement.