So we devised the one-hour rule: when he returns from a trip, no matter how fraught, fetid or unwashed we both are, we have to have sex within 60 minutes of him walking through the front door. Now think how much more fun you’d have had by striking off ‘client phone call at 7am’ and replacing it with ‘shag’. I’d rather call it a chore – if chore means ‘necessary job to keep our life together’.More to the point, ‘chore’ means it’ll actually get done.When it comes to our sexual template, I say: forget the Kama Sutra, look to rubbish collection day. Maybe, but it’s a lot more romantic than splitting up.
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Whether this stress comes from careers, kids – or juggling both – it’s lynching our libidos.
In 1990, women (aged 16-44) in live-in relationships were enjoying sex around six times a month. Crack on at this rate, and soon none of us will be having sex at all. Once a complete sauce-bucket, my 35 year-old pal hasn’t had sex with her husband since the birth of their first child, six months ago.
Having always set the bar high when it comes to the act of love, my now-knackered chum finds she can’t fire at all.
Dr Schuster finds this a common reaction: “Many of us, when stressed, think ‘if I can’t have good sex, I’m not going to have sex at all.
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Gritting our teeth, we plodded upstairs to have sex.
This cheered us up so much that we bounded back downstairs and cooked dinner a deux (which we then ate separate rooms, because he had a date with the rugby and I fancied an episode of Veep). My husband travelled a lot with work; I stayed put with the kids.