His wife resented his close friendship with his ex-boyfriend. When he forged a long-term, sexual connection with a man, he called it a “deep friendship”. When Roop Mahapatra, 36, decided to get married to a woman chosen by his parents two years ago, he had reached a tipping point.
I was deeply disillusioned with gay relationships and I wanted something rock-solid,” says Mahapatra.
His wife, Smita, is an intellectual equal and shares many of his common interests. When his ex came to visit from Bangalore, Mahapatra was intensely drawn to him.
He does not agree that by not telling her about his sexual orientation, he is lying to her. Now that I am with my wife, I am sexually attracted to her. “We got drunk and things could have happened, but I stopped myself,” says Mahapatra.
There is one sword hanging over the Mahapatra marriage though: what if Smita finds out?
“I should make her feel so secure that even if she does, it shouldn’t matter,” says Roop.
That uncomfortable truth was out in the open in the Khurshid family within the first year of Rayaz and Zubaida Khurshid’s marriage.
Rayaz, 45, the scion of a famous Muslim family of Gwalior, was in a long-distance relationship with a white man even after his marriage.
“My wife overheard my conversation with my then boyfriend.
Atanu Saha is sitting in front of me, fiddling with a bowl of peanuts. The location, a dingy bar at the northern fringe of Kolkata, is at his suggestion: “It’s very unlikely that we will bump into people I know”. Saha’s 11-month long relationship, which is in the process of being annulled, had its share of drama, heartbreak and lies. “Though I did toy with the idea of telling my wife that I am attracted to men more than women, I decided against it.
It has nothing to do with our marriage,” says Saha, a 29-year-old marketing manager with a reputed firm in Kolkata.
But last week, when a doctor at Delhi’s All India Institute of Medical Sciences committed suicide accusing her husband of “immense mental torture”, Saha was rattled.