But really, Jessie and I should share a “JT” logo with him. I’ve been in relationships with guys both rich and poor, and a guys wealth does not interest me. ” As Jocelyn said today, “emotions know no project boundaries.” Is there anything that you want to do differently? I was texting with one of my best friends, Greg in Chicago, and he told me to just have fun with it. So many men and women accept this standard, it’s no wonder why half of all marriages end in divorce. Tim found it difficult to empathize with any of the characters in the play as there was no “hero” character. After the play, we wandered over to a bar nearby in the West Village for a drink.
Anyway, I feel like there was definitely a moment last night when we both said to ourselves, “Damn, are we actually doing this?! We went to our first couples therapy session together. He’s afraid of his commitment issues and doesn’t want to hurt me since he respects me. I learned early on that money does not make me happy. In therapy we talked about how I am extremely picky about who I date. I’ve wondered where the feelings actually come from, so I did some reading about it tonight. Are we so desperate for companionship that we’ll compromise our happiness? I found the complicated dynamic of these different personalities to be an interesting twist on the usual character development. Tim told me about his last serious relationship with a girl he dated in San Francisco when he worked for Apple. Things were getting serious between them when she had to leave for business for a few months. One part of the play stirred up emotions from something that happened in my past.
Sometimes I think the “normal” people are just people you don’t know well enough yet. We talked about relationships with parents, and how many girls have “daddy issues.” I don’t have dad issues. My parents married at a young age, and have a successful marriage. However, neither Jessie or I would have talked about this stuff so soon without having the therapist as a soundboard. I spent five years seeing a therapist, so this isn’t strange to me.
I wonder if that is part of the reason I am always trying to find the right person and why I feel like such failure when a relationship doesn’t work out. Jessie is currently in therapy, so it’s all good with her too.
How do you feel about this relationship/project right now? However, this couples thing doesn’t feel natural or easy. Jessie didn’t like that I talked about how we approach money differently.
I think I have have some sort of guard up preventing myself from seeing Tim as anything more than a very close friend. I wasn’t being critical, nor do I think it’s a big deal.
As his relationship patterns are the opposite of mine, a part of me fears that if we were to really date, one of us might wind up getting hurt. We also have a tight group of friends, and I think we are both afraid to compromise that. In my work and other aspects of life, I am uncomfortable with comfortable. We both teach Wednesday nights, so we went out to dinner after class to the Fat Raddish. When we set the date for this project, I didn’t realize it was actually the first day of spring. Anyway, dinner tonight was pretty normal, not unlike other times we’ve hung out and had dinner. We talked about our families more than we ever did before. It was refreshing to hear this since I didn’t grow up with a lot of money, either. Earlier in the day I sent a little note to Jessie by messenger. But I do save money, while I think she lives off her salary more. I get uncomfortable talking about what could happen in the next 40 days.
But when it comes to relationships, I do seek secure relationships that are clearly defined. Jessie brought me a little care package of stuff to jokingly get me through the next 40 days. I wanted to honor our project together with something lighthearted. I’m not worried about the unknown, but about us falling into our usual roles, and how we deal with that.
I know I should relax and open myself up to vulnerability, so I can learn to enjoy dating more in the future. Tim insisted on being a gentleman and paying for dinner, which was very sweet of him, but I want to get the next one. How do you feel about this relationship/project right now? I know I don’t have as much savings as he does, but I’ve always supported myself financially, and I don’t mind spending on great experiences. How do you feel about this relationship/project right now? The play is about a bunch of college students going to parties, getting drunk, having sex, and their complicated interpersonal relationships.
The new Justin Timberlake album came out yesterday and it’s totally got me in the mood … I don’t place value on the size of someone’s bank account or material possessions. I was wondering the whole time during therapy, “Wait, why are we doing this?! I was thinking about some of my buddies who are in a relationship that doesn’t completely stimulate them. The characters are either opportunistic, self-serving, entitled, indulgent, or power-seeking.
It seems to me his dating style could result from this.