Best sex jokes online

In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class. The teacher asks him: - John, why aren't you writing? - That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.

Wife and husband have bought condoms with different flavours. After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says: - You are third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today. - Well, you haven't arrived to the airport yet neither.

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- Daddy, since I got the sandpaper who needs the girls anymore.

Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.

"There's a car being towed from the parking lot,"he said.

"An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed.

"Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied. ” “Son, there’s been a change of plan,” his father replied. The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over? The wife bought a new see through nighty, wore it without any underclothes and came swinging before the husband.

"Matt`s riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex." Mom and dad shot up in bed. A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. ” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. “Your mother wants a baby, that’s all.” The small boy, excited at the prospect of a new baby brother, was pleased and went back to bed with a smile on his face. “Your mother did want a baby, but now she wants a BMW.”The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession. "Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her." "That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest. Aroused Husband says, "You look so beautiful and sexy my darling." The wife says, "I know that, I tried it the same way at the store and the salesman was the first one to tell me that."An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.

One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. Several weeks later, the little boy was walking past the bathroom and was shocked to discover his mother giving oral gratification to his father. "It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors," continued the old man. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.

That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. Jewelry.”A small boy was awoken in the middle of the night by strange noises from his parents’ room, and he decided to investigate. "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?

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