” A key advantage of online dating is that you check out the basics about someone before meeting up with them in person. “Let’s also not forget that something as simple as, ‘After checking out your profile, I really like you enjoy X and I’d love to get to know you better,’ is a great way to get the conversation started”.
Because knowledge is power, it’s important to write messages, especially the first one, that reveal more about yourself. Although not totally creative, there is something refreshing about someone sending you these messages: “You seem really fun and sweet.
This is a message I received the other day that I really appreciated: ”Hey, I am a data scientist at and a columnist for the NY Times. I would love to call you and see if we are compatible.” “Hi there.
Female singles say some of the worst messages they’ve received fall in this category. ” “Marry me.” “I would cuddle the **** out of you in a blanket fort…ummm…I mean Hi :-)” “I deeply regret that it is my unfortunate duty to bring to your attention that you are above and beyond our maximum standards for looks.
You are clearly a 9/10 (your elbows are a little pointy, let’s face it no one’s perfect) and here on OKC we only allow 6/10 maximum.
Your account will be CLOSED unless you reply to this message” “You can be my slave.” I get this type of message a lot, the one that assumes we have already met, like each other, and are ready to spend a lot of time together. Truth be told..you’ve won my heart..gotta ask..would you be open to chat some time ? Let’s ride my motorcycle to icicles waterfalls in Catskills” “We have to hang out otherwise I will always feel like something is missing in my life.” “You visited my profile and didn’t reply.
While they could be sweet on one level, they also come across as disingenuous. I really thought we could have something special and I’m confused about why you didn’t write back.” Now, the positive…
As Seliger says, “If you really want to approach someone, try communicating with genuine interest…Most people just want to know you’re paying attention what makes them special.” So don’t do this: “Hi.. Seliger believes the best way to reach out to someone is to actually read their profile (not just look at photos! “If he/she likes to travel and you’ve been around South Asia and most of Europe,” she says, “Open with a short but funny story from your travels.” Some of the best messages I receive are in this camp.
For example, I talk about my puppy Charley on my site, so I’ve gotten: “Hey there, this message is for Charley so please pass it along…Hey buddy!
If you and your momma ever wanna go for a stroll in the park…holler! I travel a lot for work and spend a lot of time in US, Asia and other cool places.
” A friend who used to live in London received: “So, was it harder to start using all of the superfluous u’s in your writing when you moved to London, or to stop using them once you moved back to the US? I love going to the gym, skiing and also going out to great bars & restaurants and having fun. ” Don’t underestimate the simple, sweet message says Reccord.
Tweet One of the hardest parts about online dating is the opening message.